The Girl Syndrome!!!

Hey people!!! M back... I was really busy for nearly a year, so I have not been able to keep blogging for a long long time... I made a resolution for the new year to keep blogging at least once a week so that I will not lose touch... Lets see how this goes...

I have always had this bad habit of noticing how people behave (bad for me as my mind works overtime) and how they react to situations. But for the past few years, I started to notice how guys behave differently when they are with a girl. I am sure most of us would find this very very amusing. I certainly did! Here are a few guys that I noticed this in. I will start off with a brief introduction about the person and will then move on to the situations where I saw them change a lot:

1. Mr. Silent:
- Mr. Silent is a very quiet person with a very calm demeanor. He is actually a very nice person who believes that ladies fall for the guys who always keep to themselves. Then again, it seems that the ladies always like guys who look like they have a great secret in their heads. Guess its the intrigue which attracts them!

Me: Hey buddy!!! What were you doing last week???

Mr. Silent(Without a girl in the proximity): I had a good time, mate!!! Was out with my friends, so I enjoyed the time off!!!

Mr. Silent(With a girl in the proximity): I had some work.

Now, Mr. Silent never talks that much, but its just irritating to see him answer in one-liners. After that reply, no one will have the heart to ask anymore questions. Its almost like telling me to buzz off!!! Word of advice, Mr. Silent. If you like that girl so much, ask her out!!! Its not a crime. Just don't piss me off thinking that you are attracting her!!! Also, do hurry up!!! If you keep to yourself, she will be long gone before you get the guts to tell her how you feel!!!

2. Mr. Xerox:
- This is a typical character you can see everywhere. Mr. Xerox imitates others thinking that they are attracting the opposite sex. In fact, I believe they are doing just the opposite. Seriously, these type of people can never think of anything by themselves. They rely on the intelligence of others to make a point. This is a typical thing which happens when we chat with the girl they are trying to impress!!!

Me: Hey!!! Did you listen to the new album by XYZ???

Girl: Oh, when was this album launched? I never knew about it.

Mr. Xerox: Didn't you know??? It was launched a week ago. It was sung by ABC. Have
a look at this article I googled on my mobile.

I was under the impression that this guy was minding his own business when he jumps in the middle of the conversation!!! Mr. Xerox, I don't recall asking you anything. If you wanted to talk to her, you could have thought of a million different things!!! Why do you poke your abnormally large nose into our conversation just to say that you know things??? In future, if I need any info from you, I will ask. Just like I always have!!!

3. Mr. Tough Guy:
- This is the only person I hate among my friends. He acts like he has has the world on his shoulders. And sometimes, when he says that he has been through worse shit than me, I agree. But its really irritating to hear him recollect the past for every incident. I guess he thinks that he is putting me down before the girl's eyes, because he will talk nothing like that when the guys are around. Just to give you a hint:

Me: Man, I really screwed this one!!! The guys will tear me apart!!!

Mr. Tough Guy(Without a girl in the vicinity): Hey, don't you worry mate!!! Things will be fine. You have did what you should, that's all!!!

Mr. Tough Guy(With a girl in the vicinity): Hey, you should have been in my position. Then you will know what screwed up really is.I have been through worse. They should really put you through everything I had to undergo. Only then, you will realize how fortunate you are. blah blah blah blah.....

Dude, seriously!!! Are you working for the marines or something??? You are just another guy like me. Every single time I meet you, it always ends on the same note. Do they ask you to do a hundred push-ups every morning??? Cause you really talk like that. Look mate, everyone has their own shit. So don't keep talking as though you have already faced it all!!! And for your information, that girl you are trying to impress is getting really pissed-off about this attitude of yours. Change it before its too late!!!

4. Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Damn:
- Now here is a character that is so familiar to all of us. The best way to identify this personality is by his come-what-may attitude, which becomes the complete opposite when near a girl. No need for a detailed analysis of this guy as we all know that his ego is bigger than his head!!! Lets move on to a situation I had to face with this personality(A scene at a bar):

Me: Dude, everyone is watching us. Best we make our exit now.

Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Damn(Case 1: No girl nearby): Yeah. So???

Mr. I-Don't-Give-A-Damn(Case 2: With a girl nearby): You're right!!! We should leave now so that we don't disturb others.

What is wrong with you??? When we are not with the ladies, the crowd around us is almost non-existent to you. But, if you have a girl with you, you suddenly seem to care about everything so much. A case of split personality, I guess!!! But, the one thing which really irked me was that he tipped the waiter!!! Now, that is something that has never ever happened when she is not with him. I have literally seen him checking the table to check if he has left any change, even by mistake!!!

5. Mr. Flirt
- Oh, how can I forget him??? He is generally characterized by his cool outlook and 'chance' encounters with the ladies!!! Well, this guy always plans his actions. And his target is not any one girl in particular. He is on the lookout for just about any girl. He is usually the first one to make small talk with the ladies. So, how does he change?

Scenario A:

Me: Hey, I booked tickets for a movie. Wanna come?

Mr. Flirt: Who else is coming?

Me: Just you, me and the guys.

Mr. Flirt: I have to go out with my family buddy. Sorry I can't make it!

Scenario B:

Me: Hey, I booked tickets for a movie. Wanna come?

Mr. Flirt: Who else is coming?

Me: Just you, me and two girls from another college.

Mr. Flirt: Sure! Why not? I am fully free on that day. What say we 'all' go out to some shopping mall after the movie???

If you notice carefully, Mr. Flirt will not ask any question relating to the movie. On the contrary, he is more interested in who he is going to be with. He usually loves being the center of attention. And if his audience includes even one girl, you can definitely expect a grand performance from him.

There are a lot of other characters you can come up with, but they would always fall into one of these categories. Else, they would be the ones who are proud enough of who they really are and react in a similar manner to any situation. A general word of advice: Girls like guys who can be themselves, no matter what or when. That's what they expect guys. And if you act like someone you are not, imagine what will happen if you have to spend your life with her!!! You will have to act from the time you wake up till you go to bed! Now that's a cruel punishment. Originality is what everyone likes. So be yourself at all times!!!

(Girls, I hope this gives you some insight about what goes on in our minds. It never was a big deal to understand us, but I hope this simplifies it further!!!)

Cheers!

Scoliodentosaurophobia!

"AARGH!!!" My early morning slumber is disturbed by my mom screaming on top of her lungs. As I race towards the kitchen, I can't shake the feeling that aliens have landed on earth, or worse. I see my mom cringing with fear. I look frantically for the alien. My mom thanks me as her saviour for coming to her rescue. I still find nothing out of the ordinary. I turn to look at my mother who is pointing at the wall and has an expression on her face that would suit a 5 year old caught by the teacher for not doing homework. Ah, culprit found!!! Its the friendly, neighbourhood lizard!!!

The poor lizard seems utterly perplexed as to why my mother was yelling so loudly. Feeling odd at the sight of a guy with his hand poised as though about to hit someone and the facial expression of a 5 year old who wet his bed, the tiny guy quitely recedes to his quite abode behind the fridge. The perfect morning kick-starter! My mom quitely turns her attention back to the simmering stove. I glare at her and she responds with an equally strong cup of coffee and a sheepish grin (like the one we usually wear when caught red-handed). The following is a small excert from the conversation we had:

Me: Yennathukku ippadi kathuringa?

Mom: Coffee la sugar correct a irukka paaru.

(Mind Voice: Naan pesurathu ketkavae illaya???)

Me: Oru lizard a paathu yen ippadi bayapaduringa?

Mom: Innaikku tiffin dosai.

(Mind Voice: Ippa kooda naan pesurathu ketkalaiya???)

Me: Aiyo Rama! Yen da yenna intha maathiri kazhisada pasangaloda kootu sekkura?

I trudge wearily back to the living room, still half-asleep. To my suprise, I find my dad still snoring amidst all the ruckus, on his bed. I try to pull myself back to slumberland. No avail. Too much adrenaline, I guess. Stiffling a yawn, I glanced up at the clock. 6A.M. "What the heck am I doing at such an unearthly hour reserved only for mothers and half-asleep students preparing for the board exams?" I go back to the kitchen to return my cup only to find the tiny little critter peeping out of his secluded spot. My mom goes off to wake my brother to perform his early morning ritual of sleeping while holding a book, oblivious to the presence of the small fella. I sorta felt sympathetic for him. My house is not a palace, but its big enough to comfortably accomodate 7-8 people. Why cant he take a very tiny space on the wall??? The poor fellow looks at me with a puzzled expression. Suddenly, as though remembering that I was his would-be attacker, he retreats back to his own private space. As I walked back to my bed to catch 40 winks again, I just cant help but think how any person would feel if in the place of the poor creature.

I just cannot comprehend why many people fear such ordinary household creatures. The most a lizard can do is fall to the floor and scamper away in search of a good hiding place. Its not gonna turn into a vampire and drink our blood! For heavens sake people, please do allow such creatures to thrive. After all, even they must have some purpose for life!!!

-Sujai Edwin Moses

(P.S: If you are still wondering about the title, it means "Fear of lizards"! Google it.)

Parental Control!!!

"Moses, are you still asleep? Lazy goose. Wake up now!" I wake up every morning to hear my mom shouting these lines. Yet another perfect start to yet another boring day in my life. As I heave myself out of bed, I try to recollect any dream I had. No hope! I trudge past my mom, now shouting at my brother for not studying, to get my glass of coffee. After making myself comfortable on the sofa, I take my first sip of piping hot coffee just as my mom shouts "MOSES! You didnt brush your teeth yet. Dont drink coffee before that!" I wonder whether parents have ever heard of the term bed-coffee. Possibly not. I guess only a select few of us know that coffee tastes best when had without brushing. I still have my coffee amidst all the morning chaos. Welcome to yet another perfect day!

Most people would be amazed at the number of scoldings I get in the first 10 minutes of the day. But few of us will definitely be able to relate to these happenings. Ever wondered why parents (Mother's especially!) scold us for the most silliest of things? Here are a few day to day scenarios:

1: Parents think they do what is best for us regardless of our opinion about the subject. Classic example would be the typical scene at a garment shop; dad prefers the maroon checked full sleeved shirt whereas we tend to choose the most casual looking black or white coloured shirt sporting a picture of an enomorous skull(GASP)!!! Parents, seriously, please check a few of the latest trendy shirts before deciding that they are not worth even Rs.100! We do not want to be seen as the most unfashionable people to ever walk the face of the earth.

2: Mane matters. Come on folks, admit it. Any guy looks a heck of a lot cooler with a little stubble and frizzy hair rather than the typical clean-shaven, good boy look with well oiled hair. It just itches a bit, agreed. But its worth the scratching just to look cool. Why, for God's sake, can't parents understand that long hair and a stubble are the 'in' things this season?

3: Talking over the phone. Parents, please understand that we are just trying to improve our public speaking skills. So, we should be given the benefit of the doubt when on the phone for a long time. Please do not accuse us of wasting our time on useless topics when we are actually preparing ourselves to face the world!!!

4: When we come home late, please do not ask us those silly questions like "Where've you been?" "Who was with you?", etc. We hate to lie to you. These questions will only make us feel bad about lying. Of course, you will get some well-rehearsed replies for your questions which will definitely not be true. We are back home safe and sound. Thats what really matters.

5: "Your friend has scored 90%. What happened to you? Why are you still having an arrear in the subject?" Dear parents, please understand that we do not like to be compared. If we are at the bottom rung, its just for the betterment of the society. We can study only to a certain extent. Its more like asking why Yuvraj was able to score a century whereas Raina could manage only 30!!!

There are a lot more complaints that pour in each minute. But, I guess this gives you a basic idea. Its not that we hate your concern for us. We just want to break free from our eggshell and see the world just as you experienced it yourself. I sincerely apologise if I have hurt any feelings. Any comments, please do post.

A place where I belong!!!

I guess its been quite a while since my last blog. Too much work I suppose. Anyway, I had a chance to visit my native very recently and this blog is about the trip.

10 glorious days of fun. That was my only thought when I boarded the bus for Nagercoil.(For those of you who are poor in geography, Nagercoil is a place near Kanyakumari, the southern tip of our country.) I was looking forward to meeting all my relatives there.(I have 4 aunts living in the same area, so i guess u can imagine how many relatives I have.) The journey was quite uneventful, unless you dont count the frequent bickering of two college girls regarding who gets to have the window seat [:P]. I reached Nagercoil by 5:30AM the next day. The details of each day are as follows:

Day 1:

I took residence in one of my aunt's place. After a great breakfast, my cousin decided to drag me to SILAMBATTAM. Both of us came out of the theatre, clearly flummoxed as to why we spent Rs.20 on tickets.(Thats the maximum rate of tickets in theatres there, and thats considered the best in the locality.) With what remained of my mind, I managed to visit every aunt and announce that I was there. Also, I savoured the dishes of every household. The evening was spent by mindless chattering with my cousins. As night fell, I was able to drift of to sleep effortlessly, something I could never manage anywhere else.

Day 2:

Yay!!! Sunday!!! I had no work other than talking with all my long distance relatives who had nearly forgotten that I existed. The entire day was so much fun. Every aunt became nostalgic as they recounted childhood memories. I had lunch and dinner at 6 different places. I spent the night talking with my cousin about my college life and friends.

Day 3:

My grandfather suddenly took ill and was admitted to a hospital. Since everyone had office that day, I was left to take care of him. I enjoyed the evening by listening to an orchestra of a very large, noisy bunch of mynahs. I returned home at 9:00 PM and helped my aunt with the chores. After a great meal of fish,(Fish is the staple diet there. No meal is complete without a large helping of fish) I lay down in the terrace and started counting stars before being overpowered by a wave of deep sleep.

Days 4-7:

It was Pongal holidays for everyone. My grandfather prefered my company, so I was the day shift care-taker whereas my favourite uncle took care of the night-shift. The kids repeatedly visited the hospital, mostly to keep me company.Also, my grandfather told me a lot of personal stuff about him. What surprised me the most was his ability to recount incidents which occured when he was 9 years old without batting an eye-lid.(And we have a problem to recall what we did yesterday! Shame on us people!) His love for my late-grandmom left me thinking whether anyone else would be lucky enough to have such a life. Each day, I was treated to a new story of love, hard-work, unlimited joy and occassional sorrrow, much on the filmy line. Each day, I got a new inspiration.

Day 8:

Hurrah!!! Its my birthday!!! After attending numerous calls from friends, I went on to get blessings from all the elders. It is customary for us to give money when a young one falls at our feet and asks blessings. So I got a really hefty collection that day, thanks to the sheer number of people present. I went to Trivandrum to meet my "friends" from TCS. After spending about 4 hours with them, I came back home. After the tiring journey, I slept off just as my god-mother was exclaiming how happy she was that I spent one of my birthdays there.

Day 9:

Hospital duty again. By this time, every staff in the hospital knew my name and what I was doing. I was looking forward to hearing my grandfather narrate his experiences, but all was spoilt by constant visits by all aunts and uncles. With nothing much to do, I wandered off to check every nook and corner of the hospital. Luckily, I was saved from boredom by a very friendly (and really beautiful, hot, gorgeous-looking) nurse. We chatted for a couple of hours. I returned home at 6:00 PM. Then, it was play-time. I had a gala time with all my cousins. Just sitting and chatting, I remembered what I had been missing for 5 years. I vowed to spend atleast 10 days each year just like that. Before getting to bed, I was constantly reminded of the times we spent together as one big, happy family.

Day 10:

Time to say good-bye. I spent the entire day saying good-byes to all my relatives. This time, I made sure none of my relatives were left out. By the time the train started chugging out of the station, I remembered everything that had happened, every word of advice I received, every caring soul I spoke to and the unanimous wish from everyone that I remained so happy forever.

After so much happening in so short a span of time, I felt that I was leaving a part of myself in my home-town. I felt that this is the only place a belong. I felt that this is home!!!

The Lake House

Talk about a candy-floss love story! This movie is absolutely awesome. A must-watch for all. The Lake House is a Warner Bros. movie with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock playing the lead. Being a good friend of an aspiring film director has taught me to appreciate the nuances of film-making. And I can understand the amount of work and imagination that went into this film. I have not been a great follower of romantic movies or novels, but this movie has changed my perception.

Keanu Reeves plays Alex Wyler, an architect living in 2004, while Sandra Bullock is the lonely doctor Kate Forster in 2006! To top it all, they live at the same place, yet they have never seen each other. Strange, ain't it? Seems like a far-fetched, cock-eyed story. But its not! These two correspond through letters from a mail-box just outside the Lake House. It takes a while for the viewer to understand the exact plot, but it most certainly is enjoyable. The screenplay is very crisp and portrays the writer's imagination perfectly on screen. Keanu Reeves is at his best, and Sandra Bullock is just too good not to mention. The couple share a great on-screen chemistry. But, its Keanu Reeves who takes the cake for portraying the emotions of a son who is bereaved of his father perfectly. The film has all the elements for the perfect story. The Lake House shown in the film seems absolutely dreamy. More like a dream house we might have in our minds. Every scene has been sculpted to perfection. Hats-off to Alejandro Agresti, the director.

For the people who like such candy-floss stories, this is a must watch. For those who prefer not to watch romantic movies, its time to change your mind and just give this one a try. Trust me, it will be well worth your time.

Cheers!!!

Sujai Edwin Moses

(P.S: This film has a rating of 6.8 in IMDB, pretty good for a love story!)